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  我们是相亲认识的,当时都算得上大龄青年、剩男剩女了。我第一眼就喜欢上了她,因为她有气质,工作也不错,不是那种特别庸俗,一开口就变着法子打听你有多少家产、多少套房子的女人。

  我以前只谈过两次恋爱,一次是中学早恋,懵懵懂懂;一次是26岁之前,只和对方交往一年,就因性格不合分开。这次“恋爱”离上次已隔五六年,我都不知道该怎么对待这突如其来的感情。

  我很宠她,对她极好。即便刚开始,她并未表态她喜欢我,我也愿意倾力付出。高档餐厅约会过、礼物也送过,还免费当随传随到的家庭专属维修工。

  她对我的态度始终有点生疏客气,比如我送她礼物,她也会回礼一份。帮她修理东西,她就会请我吃饭。但我因此更喜欢她,觉得她懂事、有内涵。

  其实也有人给我介绍过别的女孩,比她年轻、漂亮,也愿意和我交往。可我就是放不下她,在她面前我一点自信都没有,时常担心她会明确拒绝我。

  好在相识半年后,她的态度有了改变,对我不再客气。有一回过节,她回县城老家等不到车,主动联系了我。我送她回去,顺便见了她的家人。在她家吃饭,她家人都很喜欢我。

  那次之后,我们算是正式恋爱了。我满心欢喜,她却好似没什么特别的表现。我以为她性格如此,温淡恬静、不擅表露,所以也没往心里去。

  我预定跟她今年中秋后领证结婚,因为我们年纪都不小了,她也默认了我的提议。我兴致勃勃地去订酒店、选婚纱,到她家里提亲。一切都进行得很顺利。

  可是到了9月中旬,她突然失踪了!我急得差点贴寻人启事。到她老家找,她父母也不知道她去了哪里。公司里的同事说,她请了一周的工休假。我每天不间断地打上百个电话,可她手机始终处于关机状态。

  朋友都说,我一下子老了10岁。

  后来,她回了柳州,主动联系了我。那是我第一次冲她发火,可能骂得有点难听。她低头不语,任凭我说话。她告诉我,她独自去旅游了,在旅游中,她想通了一个问题:“我不爱你,不能和你结婚。”

  “为什么?你明明答应了的!”

  她说道:“我原先以为,你对我好,我就能嫁给你,可还是不行。婚姻要有感情的,如果我是那种不讲感情、只看条件的女人,我也不用等到现在了。”

  她的话让我哑口无言。“我不爱你”难道是悔婚的借口?


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